(for part 1, go here)
At this point, I'm all who am I and why am I here, and does whale outta ocean ring a bell??
And I have to go to the bathroom!
They then proceed to PRESENT us with their proposal for the space, complete with fiber and cabinet samples. I am hearing words like elegant and vast, upscale and universal appeal.
How do you ask "where are the facilities" tactfully, in a business meeting?
I was seriously contemplating which would be more embarrassing, peeing right there in their designer showcase space, or interrupting the meeting like some kind of overgrown toddler with a where's the bathroom question, when the builder said "lets talk about paint colors"! Really, paint colors I thought, do you have any idea how many paint colors there are? Then miss size four broke out Martha's paint swatches. "These are unbelievably remarkable" she swooned as she splayed out 5000 shades of wonderful. I squeezed my legs together and started to shake.
Lets review a few of the phrases I used in this meeting with the size four interior designer with six inch heels, shall we?
"That would be great if we wanted it to look like every other commercial space in this area."
"If we want it to be stamped with 2012 for the next 22 years we could do that."
"Eight foot ceilings can not scream elegant, no matter what you do to them."
"No amount of pillows or vases is going to infuse color into beige walls."
Maybe I could get rich if I wrote a book on what not to do or say in a business meeting.
By the time we left, size 4 was cold.
Michael asked me if I thought HE had offended her?? Ummmmmm, "no" I stammered, "I don't think so".
I even asked the builder why there were no fish in the ginormous and conspicuously empty fish tank that was obviously once the centerpiece of his Hoyty toyty lobby. "they died" was his curt reply.
It was not good.
I will not be entering the corporate work force any time soon.
Me, and my not size four white Capri's, slunk to my minivan and back to our Island lair, and got back to wrangling laundry and dog hair.
And guiding young hearts toward a love for Jesus.....lets not forget that one.
After I used the bathroom of course.