Wednesday, July 30, 2008


I have been a bear to live with lately. I don't know why exactly. One minute I cry, the next I yell. I am short on patience, and even shorter on understanding. I feel like a cloud is hanging over my head ready to envelope me at a moments notice. At times it is overwhelming, and at others it is off in the distance taunting me. I tried to explain to the children this morning, that Momma was having a hard time. I apologized ahead of time for how I might act that day. How insane is that, I thought just minutes later. Apologizing for something you have not yet done, but are sure you will do? At the time I thought it was a good idea, maybe it would give them a thicker skin if they knew it was coming, like they could brace themselves against the harshness or irrational behavior to come. Where is the faith in that for me? Where is my trust in a God who can save me from myself if only I rest in him, if I have already admitted defeat before the battle? My thoughts turned to not only compassion for my children, but repentance for my SIN. Does my mood, or my circumstance excuse my actions,? of course not. Does the fact that sometimes it is easy, and sometimes it is hard change my God's standard for my life? of course not.

Don't use foul or abusive language.

Let everything you say be good and helpful,

so that your words will be an encouragement

to those who hear them.

Paul's letter to the Ephesians 4:29

under God's inspiration

New Living translation


Chrissie said...

Really, really right there with you. I'm sharing your cloud. Somedays are just plain hard. Yesterday was really bad. I'm still recovering.

Thanks for your words and the Scripture.

Lots of love to you!

Michael said...

Hey Babe,
I'm thrilled your bloggin again and evidently quite a few others are too!
Just wanted you to know no matter how you feel about yourself I know the truth, you are God' perfect creation for your children and I.

Oh, and I love you the mostest! Papa Bear

char said...

:) loving you and this post... I shouldn't just think of this for my kids... me too. char

Dawn said...

Ouch, Amy. Did you have to step on ALL my toes???
I just love the Scripture that you put at the end. It really helps put it all in perspective...what my days should look like. How my tone should be with the kids.
Thank you.

Lisar said...

Amy, thank you for sharing this and for bringing the scripture to real life situations...there are lessons for me in this...the way I interact with work colleagues when I am finding things difficult...there is no excuse for being rude or abrupt...but I can only be otherwise in the strength of the Lord. Love Lisa