Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I've been keeping something from you


I have a confession of sorts, I've been keeping something from you. I didn't want to, but in the name of safety for my children, and myself, I had to......cuz I don't  really know you!

Well, I don't know all of you, and most of those I do know, unless you are out of  town, already know the secret, cuz I know you are not axe murderers, or armed robbers. Not that you who I don't know are axe murderers or armed robbers, but how would I know that, cuz like I said, I don't really know you.

We are moving, like now, today, like, as you are reading this. That is a weird thought, as I am sitting here writing this ahead of time knowing that I really should be doing.....well, any number of things to get ready for said move, but instead, I am blogging......cuz it's more fun to confess, than to pack.

Michael accepted a new position, in a new company, in a new state, back in January. That was 5 months ago, and we have been living the long distance family life since then....yuck!  He has been coming home about every three weeks, thus leaving us alone for long stretches of time. That has not been fun for us, or for him, but could have been fun for axe murderers and armed robbers, so I didn't tell you, just in case. Don't be mad, I don't really know you!
So while I've been hanging, out on a limb, without my better half, the Lord has been teaching me a lot about trust. Not only do I not trust you, because I don't really know you, I don't always trust Him fully either.  Could it be that I don't know Him well enough? He is always faithful to provide however, and it is that very faithfulness that has supplied my needs during this hard time, past hard times, and will supply them in the hard times to come. Because, believe me, there will always be hard times!

That doesn't mean that He supplies my needs exactly the way I desire, or in the timing that I expect, or even in the way I deem appropriate, but supply them He does!

During a conversation months ago with a young woman that was experiencing some upheaval and unknowns in her life, she said to me, "I'll just be glad when things can just be settled". That comment has been rolling around in my brain for several months now. At the time, I tried to encourage her that things would be better soon. Then I got to thinking about my own story.
When have things ever really been settled??
Even at those times in my life when I might have thought things were settled, there was always a surprise right around the bend.
Does my Heavenly Father really want me to be settled, or comfortable,  or relaxed?
Hasn't it always been those times of upheaval, or tension, or vulnerability, that I have depended on Him the most?

So as I swing out on this limb yet again, and face new challenges in a new place, some exciting, some scary, some invigorating, and some potentially painful, I confess, that I am trying to trust Him more deeply, depend on Him more fully, and He is continually supplying my needs. I know Him well enough to know that.

And if you are an axe murderer, or an armed robber, well, to bad for you. If you are out on a limb, like me, welcome to reality, get comfortable, enjoy the ride, and trust Him to catch you.

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4 comments:

The Hardwick Family said...

We will be praying for you guys!! Wish you were moving back here:) I have been reading all of your post and had no idea! Praying for a safe and easy move for you guys.

Danielle said...

I don't tell anyone when my husband travels either:0)

Happy moving. I hope you get settled soon... and find another great church... that isn't always easy to do!

Hmmmm, I wonder what state you will show up in now?!?!?!

Alexis E. said...

Wishing you joy in your new home! It's great that the family will be reunited.

Grace at Home said...

Oh, wondering where God is leading you this time! Wish it was back here.