Depression roots

Well, I guess you now know what I am the proud owner of.....It isn't ugly, at all,......it is actually quite cute, and I love the beach.....and I love cottage.....unfortunately, I don't own a beach cottage, or really decorate in that beachy cottege kind of way.

Her words were, "I just thought you might like this lamp that we had out on our porch, because otherwise I am going to just throw it out." It seems so simple now, just a "thank you so much for thinking of me but....." It was the last part that I couldn't eek out, the NO part of no thank you. I said, "thanks so much for thinking of me....sure we would love the lamp. That is so very kind of you!"

So now I must get rid of the sweet thing....any takers??? near me???

But then the next day Kartwright spied a rug on their garbage cans...well, they are really our cans, that they asked to use, but who cares...any way, he comes in and asks if I would like it. It is all rolled up, so we can't see the colors. So, much to the horror of my prideful non trash taking self, he carried it in on his shoulder. I love having a big strapping boy around to do my bidding. I was intrigued yet mortified. It was not my taste or colors anymore then the lamp was, but worth considerably more! We put it on the front porch to air out, as the odor was less then desirable. When the excitement died down, and school was back in order, Haven, my nine year old, turned to me and said, and I quote, " I feel like that family on the movie about Kit, that lived out in the woods in tents, and gathered junk"......All righty then, we have now been reduced to junk gathering Hobos from the depression era....Then I thought, give it a few more months, in this economy, and she may be right on the money!

Soooo...... here is the new rug for our tent. We haven't picked out our spot in the woods yet, but I hope it is near the hair salon, I can't go more then 4 weeks with these roots...lol.

not a very good picture, I know

What would you say?????

So.... if your neighbor were moving out, and she came to your door with a lamp in her hand and asked you if you wanted it, and if you knew you wouldn't ever use the lamp, and that it would only ad to the many things you needed to purge, and you really, really, didn't want the lamp, what would you say? Remember now, she is standing there at your door, with the lamp in her hand, a perfectly good lamp, just not your style, or color, or anything remotely like something you would pick.....asking, as if she is doing you some kind of wonderful favour, but you really really don't want the lamp...... now think hard. What would you say????

What do you think I said??

I'll tell ya tomorrow.

brotherly love

"Help me Momma" she screamed, in mock fear, as her two older brothers feigned throwing her into the murky marsh. Never did she really believe that they would let loose their grip of her ankles and wrists. It was her duty to scream, and fulfill the role of the weaker vessel, as the strong dominant males displayed not only their strength, but their ability to protect her in some kind of whacked out switcharoo, as the very danger they protected her from, alas....was created by them!

Unexpected encouragement

Not long ago, my husband and I made a 2 hour road trip. It was glorious....I'm not kidding! 2 hours of uninterrupted adult conversation with the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with, but with whom I spend to little of my time. We talked a-lot....many many subjects, but mostly the kids. Why is that???? You finally get to talk, and you talk about the kids??!!?? It was good though, when you feel a bit disconnected, to compare notes on where you see the kids, and how best to deal with it. We try our best to be a united front with all of our children. We laughed a-lot, and even cried a little when we reminisced about our sweet Crockett, and what we miss. It was good, I love my husband, and I love to spend time with him. I try not to take that for granted.



When we reached our destination, we were met with an unexpected surprise!



We met a couple there that was such an encouragement to us. We only chatted for about an hour, but in that time I felt so close to them. We had some similar history of experiences in regards to our churches, and our children, and our homeschooling. It was so refreshing to meet someone to whom you instantly feel a connection. Near the end of our conversation someone else in the group asked about Crockett, and expressed their condolences.



My new friend asked when he had gone home.



I shared freely, relieved to be able to share, as it hangs so fresh around my neck, a heaviness that needs to be lifted occasionally by just a word of his presence in my everyday.



She shared how she had lost her 2 1/2 year old daughter to heart disease 18 years ago.



There was an instant connection, for even though we all have a different story, the loss of a child is a pain that unites the aching hearts of all parents who have ever experienced it.



We rejoiced in the knowledge that we will see our children again one day, and yet grieved knowing that even after 18 years the pain of the hole that is left when they go home, is still present.



God is so good, to bring people into our lives, that not only encourage us when we need it most, but fulfill a need that we didn't even realize that we had.



How has God encouraged you unexpectedly lately?

I recently read this.....Jimmy by Robert Whitlow.....Loved it, highly recommend it. Kartwright actually found a signed copy on the 50% off table at Zondervan Family Bookstore at the mall. He begged for it, and fortunately for him, I have a soft spot for books, especially hard back books, especially hardback books on sale, especially hard back books on sale, and are signed editions, and now, especially hard back books that are signed editions by Robert Whitlow.


Kartwright read it first, and wouldn't let it rest until I too had enjoyed it's wonder. I am sometimes thankful for my 16 year olds' persistence.

The same, but different

I hear a lot of chatter about home school rooms...We had one once, for about 4 days, lol. I guess that didn't work for us. My children pick their own areas to learn. They often migrate to new areas for different subjects. Kartwright prefers my bed...that's okay, I'm not using it when he is...Haven prefers a small table in the corner of the family room, where the sunlight pours in through the large paned windows.

When Kartwright was small, I remember him hopping from window seat, to couch, to dinning table, to rug, just in the time it took to do his handwriting. It was okay, as long as it got done in a timely manner. He has since learned to stay put. When Dakota was in High school, I recall sitting opposite him on the sofa sharing a quilt to read his Chemistry text....he was an auditory learner no doubt. Kartwright is more visual, like me, and needs to see the words on the page for himself. I have yet to figure Haven out, and the jury is still out on ElizaJane.

I am often struck with how very different the Lord makes all of us, in the midst of our sameness. As a family we laugh mostly at the same things, like to eat, watch, listen, and talk about most of the same things.....yet we are all so very different. Different in the ways we learn, and process information, different in our emotions, and abilities. Different even in the way we display our love for one another. The same, yet so very different!

Strength and dignity are her clothing,

And she smiles at the future.

proverbs 31:25

There are no surprises in Heaven

Friday my sweet called, and asked me to lunch...he does that often, and because I have a built in sitter that is ready and willing (thank you Kartwright), I can most often say "yes". He caught me off guard...I was buried under clutter, and 4th grade math, and laundry and life, because life does not stop for tragedy, but keeps moving forward in spite of our feelings....my hubbies low smooth voice pushed it all aside, and I threw on some lipstick, and set up the girls at the computer to review their Latin and grammar, kisses all around, and I flew. Flew to the one I love, to drown my sorrows in a shared piece of red velvet cake. I am so thankful for a man that cares so much for me.

It has been a particularly hard week...lots of light hearted laughs, because one of the chicks has returned to the coop for fall break, but all is not well.

Just two weeks ago It was my pleasure to discover that there was a new life growing inside of me. I was over joyed at the privilege that was ours to parent another. I was so happy that God would grant such a blessing, even as I was still mourning the loss of sweet Crockett. I was so honored that he would entrust one more to our care. I was a bit afraid, I will admit, as we all know I am not getting any younger, but I was granted a full measure of peace, that God was the inventor of life, and that he would sustain me.

It was not to be however, and God chose to take the new life at just 81/2 weeks.

The bible tells us that we do not know the ways of God, and it could not be more right. I do not understand why it had to be this way, at this time......but, I do know, and am comforted by the fact, that my God is in control. Recently I heard a quote spoken once by Corrie Tenboom, she said

"There are no surprises in heaven, only plans"

God knew of this life before the beginning of time, and he knew the purpose that the life would have, to further his kingdom. It is not my job to question, only to be the vessel of his message.

So there it is my friends, a snip of goodness, swept away to be seen only in glory, but an instrument to be used to make us into the children our Father envisions us to be.

pray for us, and we for thee

SC state fair is officially a tradition

For the third year in a row we enjoyed the state fair, I think three times makes it an official tradition. Dakota has been on fall break every year on the same week, and the fair is a great time for all ages.

From this angle it looks as though Kartwright 16 has passed Dakota 20 in height. That is actually deceiving, but it most likely will happen as he is growing like a weed. Here they are loading on to the roller skate ride, which is the scariest that the fair will allow ElizaJane to do. That girl has no fear, and would have ridden them all, had she been able!

Didn't I tell you he was competitive???? even the slide was a race!!

Liza giggled through every ride, while Haven worried that she was holding tight. Can you see where her eyes lead, and the serious look on her face???

The girls could ride the swings for hours!!!

This one is hard to see, as the sun was going down, but can you see the shear joy on ElizaJane's face???I wish I could bottle that look!!!

This one made everyone a little queeeeeezy. They were just waiting for it to take off at this point. Haven with a new friend....there's that shear joy again.

The girls watching their brothers from below

The little one LOVED feeding the farm animals. Grandpa Cliff just kept feeding the animal feed machines with quarters. I would have taken this fancy cow home with me if they would have let me.....I am beginning to see a cow trend this week, have you noticed??

I guess her smiler wore out at some point!!

This is what happens if you opt out of a ride, you have to carry everyone else's stuff. Do you like that purse???

We had a really fun day, if you get the chance to check out a fair, make the effort, it is really worth it!!!

a slick lick

Isn't she cute???

I wish she were mine!

I would name her Daisy, and we would have long discussions on the importance of breast feeding and grazing.

I mentioned my penchant for cows just yesterday to you folks, and I was not jesting. Ever since visiting my cousins farm, back in '72 on the back roads of western Michigan, where the mint leaves crunched underfoot, and sent an aroma like no other, and the barn cats were allowed to pro-create at a rate that would make any rabbit blush, I have wanted a cow. That day, in that country setting surrounded by fir trees taller then the silo, I was kissed by a bovine beauty, and it changed my life. Her tongue was the size of my upper thigh, and as slick and slimy as a teething 8 month old. It was love at first lick, and I have been pining for her ever since.

Those who know me, know it could never happen, as I am a city girl, and frankly, getting my hands dirty forcing Amaryllis for the holidays is a stretch for me. Mucking stalls would not be happening in my world, nor would the early morning milking. No, my ownership of a cow is not very likely, but a girl can always dream can't she?

Classical Conversations

This school year the girls and I joined Classical Conversations. We LOVE it. I can not say enough about this program, and if there is one in your area I strongly recommend it! If there isn't one, start one! seriously!!!


I have never been much for the whole co-op home school thing. I realised early on with my boys, that if we were going to get school done, we needed to stay home and do school. Aside from the occasional field trip, that has pretty much been our mode of operation. One of the boys did take an English class one year, but that served to reinforce our thinking in this area. I know many home schoolers who do co-op, or simply hire someone as a group to teach in the higher level maths or sciences, or sometimes foreign language, it just hasn't been our choice. Oh Oh, that reminds me......I have to tell this story, and unless you are a home schooler you won't get this, but I have to share...indulge me kay????

So I'm at this function for Michael's real Estate thingy last weekend right, and the kids are with me looking all put together and trying their very best to behave right?, when I am just making small talk with this older lady right?....like maybe late 60ish....sorry, that's not really that old....it's not nearly as old as it used to be,.....so anyhoo, she's asking about where we live and all that stuff right, and she asks how I like the schools in our area, so I lay it out there,....I mean it isn't like I am afraid to tell people that I home school or anything, but you just never know how they are going to react right??? So you have to brace yourself for it, and measure your response.

I mean is it going to be the hostile former teacher thing where they spout the virtues of the public school system and how I could never possibly meet alllllllllll the needs of my many children, like several "professionally trained" teachers could.....

Or, is it going to be the old "OH, I could never do that, I would just kill my children, I don't know how you do it" schpeal.....

Or, will it be the "do you actually have curriculum for that?' question (my personal favorite by the way, I have always wanted to say "no, we pretty much just wing it, and play in the woods all day", but I am of course, much to polite for that!).....

Then there is the one that wants you to list the curriculum that you use as if.... well, as if most non-home schoolers are familiar with all the curriculum's, and, as if, I must prove to them that we really do use something....

Or then there is the, "Wow, I bet you have lots of time to do extra curricular activities", (I guess they think that, because they really don't think we actually crack the books)...

I have heard variations on all of these, but, I can honestly say I have never before gotten the response that I did on this evening . She said, and I quote,

"do you do that yourself, or do you hire someone to do that for you?"

no really, she did...I'm not kidding

to which I replied, in my mostess sweetestest voice, trying not to burst out in open mouthed hilarity spewing the wonderfully tasty bite of barbecue deliciousness that I had just taken, into her bifocalled glasses, "no, I do it myself" I stammered!

"oh" she retorted,"because I know LOTS of home schoolers in this area that do hire someone to go into their homes and teach their children for them"

"oh" I choked out "I haven't met any of them"..........

So..... if you indeed do do this hiring of someone to home school your children thingy, please, do tell, because I have yet to meet one of said species........

wow that was a very long rabbit trail, so where was I?........

Oh yeah, so Classical Conversations appealed to me because, where we were involved in a very large church where we came from last year, we are now in a much, much ...(I can't emphasize how much here,) smaller church in our wonderful new city. My girls needed interaction...I am not talking about socialization here, I am not looking for other children to socialize my sweeties, that is another subject for another far of and distant time, like maybe never. I am talking about just being around someone other then the nice retired check out clerk and her pimple faced side kick bagger at Publix, their brother, and me (who can also, at times, be pimple faced also, me I mean). So anyway, that is what we were looking for, and we got so so so very much more.


This post is getting entirely too long, and I know you have peas to shell, and cows to milk (if you really do, how cool is that!!!! I want to try out your life for a day, so contact me, and we'll make it happen) so I will finish the all out praise of CC at a later date.

Go have a wonderful spirit filled day, and if you ever meet that paying home schooler, take names and numbers, I want proof!




If you are wondering what on earth these pictures have to do with Classical Conversations, let me just clear that up for ya.....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.... I just like to remember that feeling of 102 degrees and the crunchy feeling that is sunburn, and the sand between my toes....can't get enough of it, and although fall is nice, SUMMER, I miss you my sweet friend.

If you care to comment, I would love to hear funny questions people have asked you, and how you answered...lets not be ugly, just in fun people, just in fun. It doesn't have to be about home schooling.....I am an equal opportunity blogger, but keep it nice!!!

Home for fall break

He is a veritable celebrity in his own home, and our senses are overflowing with his return.

We listen to his stories of "pretty much amazing" athletic feats, and the antics of his baseball team buddies. His deep voice fills the rooms of our house with memories of the skinny little seriouse boy that once was the only child we had.

We watch him eat, and eat, and eat some more. Thirty minutes after a meal is cleaned up and put away, he is searching diligently in the fridge for something more to snack on.

We smelled the huge plastic tub of rank laundry that he trekked home, and I washed, dried. and folded it all, Saturday. It is now all Lavender 'All' fresh, and stacked in wonderful neat uniform piles.

We play games and laugh at his need to always win, even Candy Land becomes a game of precision and determination with my oh so competitive oldest offspring.

We laughed with him at the Tim Hawkins DVD that Kartwright received as a birthday present last month....so HIL-AIR-EE-US....I am not going to lie people. We laugh until we cry at this man, and everything he says becomes a family joke. Our meal times are almost always filled with fun and giggles, but when Coda is home he and his brother take the frivolity to a new level.

we are all enjoying the taste of sweet family.

Someone's missing

Tomorrow will mark the six month anniversary of Crockett's going home. Still ElizaJane thanks Jesus almost every night that Crockett is in heaven, and prays that Momma won't cry. Taken this summer on our vacation to the Outer Banks,this was our first "family" picture without him, and there is such a big hole where he should be. I wonder if I will ever look at a family photo again, and not sense that someone is missing. I miss my boy very much, and long for the day when we will be reunited again.

Have a blessed day with the ones you love friends, and give them an extra hug in Crockie's name.

A wonderful house for sale

There once was a nice family who moved to a new town, and rented a nice house because they could not sell their wonderful house back in their old town. They didn't understand why their wonderful house was not selling. It was a great house, and had been cared for lovingly. It was on a very big lot, in a very pretty neighborhood, and even had a beautiful pond in the back yard. It was priced fairly, and the nice family had even built a brand new garage, in hopes of overcoming any objection a potential buyer might have. The nice family prayed together every night, and at every meal that their wonderful house would sell, for they wanted a new wonderful home that they could make their own, and they wanted to put down roots in their new town, in their own new neighborhood. They prayed and prayed, and the nice Momma even begged God to sell their old wonderful house. She often asked God why he wouldn't sell her old wonderful house, because she knew with all her heart, that if it was his wish he could sell it that very day, because she knew he was a very powerful God. She didn't understand why God wouldn't sell her old wonderful house, and then she found out she was expecting a new wonderful baby, and more then anything she wanted a new wonderful house where her three wonderful sons, and her new wonderful baby, and she and her wonderful husband could live, and call their very own. The new wonderful baby girl was born, and still the old wonderful house did not sell. The nice family did not understand why their God did not answer their prayers.

Finally, after eleven long months of very fervent praying, God answered their prayers, and the old wonderful house sold to a new wonderful family, and the nice family was very excited. The nice Daddy, and nice Momma, set to work, finding a new wonderful lot on which to build their new wonderful home, and went to see an architect to draw plans for the new wonderful home they had been dreaming of.

Then there was a horrible storm, called a hurricane, and his name was Floyd, and the nice family drove away from their rented home to escape the horrible storm. They could only take what would fit in their van, so they had some clothes, and some pictures, and the nice Mamma's wedding dress, and some of their home school books, and they planned to come home to their rented house after the storm was over. After the horrible hurricane hit their new town, all their wonderful stuff was okay, but then the storm moved to higher grown and caused the rivers to flood and flow down to their new town, and the nice families new town was flooded. The nice rented house that held all the nice families wonderful stuff was buried under water for several days. The nice Daddy paddled a boat right up to the roof and felt for his truck with a stick, deep under the water. When the water subsided after three weeks, the nice daddy took the nice momma to the rented house to see their no longer wonderful stuff. Almost everything was destroyed, and it wasn't just wet, but stinky and dirty. Nothing about their stuff was wonderful any more.

The nice family did not despair however, because they knew that God had been gracious to save their lives. They were so grateful that they had left their new town and nice rented house, to escape the horrible storm named Floyd, and that they were all safe! They thanked God for delivering them from danger, and that is not all. The nice family also thanked the Lord for taking so long to sell their old wonderful house, because if they had sold it earlier, they would have bought a lot that was still under the flood waters, and that is where their new wonderful house would have been. Instead, they had the money from the sale of their old wonderful house in the bank, and they could take care of themselves with it. What did not make any sense to the nice Momma earlier, now made perfect sense, and she was so grateful to God for protecting her family from building their new wonderful house too soon.

It is now exactly 9 years since that horrible storm named Floyd came.

That nice family has again moved to a new wonderful town and rented a nice house, because they could not sell their wonderful house back in their old town. They don't understand why their wonderful house is not selling. It is a wonderful house, and has been cared for lovingly. It is on a smallish lot, but has a large private backyard, and is in a very pretty neighborhood. It is priced more then fairly, and the nice family even put on new garage doors in hopes of overcoming any objections a potential buyer might have. The nice family prays together every night, and at every meal that their old wonderful house will sell, for they want a new wonderful home that they can call their own, in their new wonderful town, and they want to put down roots in their own new wonderful neighborhood. They pray and pray, and the nice Momma even begs God sometimes to sell their old wonderful house, but she doesn't question him this time. She knows with all her heart that if it was his wish God could sell the old wonderful house today if he wanted to, for he is a very powerful God. The nice Momma also knows, that God always knows best, and that sometimes when he doesn't give us what we want, he just might be protecting us from something we don't yet understand. So as the nice family continues to pray that their old wonderful house will sell, and asks that you pray also, they also remember to thank God for taking care of them, and for knowing better then they do what is best for them.

Do you take anything for granted?

Doesn't this look odd, the prairie girl playing a game with brightly colored plastic pieces?
Or maybe to some it is odd that a sixteen year old is playing a game with a four year old.

I prayed last night with the girls, that He would bring to mind those things that we take for granted, so that we might praise him better for the gifts he has so graciously poured on us. He used this picture to do just that for me.

Thank You Lord for a kind and patient son, who is willing to play with his little sisters, and is helpful to me in so many ways.

Thank You too Lord for my little prairie girl who would love to live on a farm, and run in the wheat Fields, bare footed like Laura, but must be satisfied with one dog, and one cat, and a well cut lawn!

What do you take for granted?

Silently, with their eyes awake

They sit, and wait, and stare

At little girls who with them take

The dolls they often share.

The girls, they squeal, and race around

Enjoying every ride,

Yet in the end the dolls are found,

And hugged tight to their sides.

Girtie the Guilty Goat

Websters says guilt is a feeling of self reproach from believing one has done a wrong.



I disagree, in my world one can feel guilty without the belief that one has done wrong.

Sometimes I feel guilty for things I have no control over, such as, someone did something I should have done, before I got to it, or if I forgot to thank someone properly, or wish them a happy birthday (like my sister Angie, sorry sis, Happy Birthday late), or if ....well, you get the picture. It usually involves forgetting, or not meeting my own or someone Else's expectations. The last time I checked, forgetting was not a sin, nor is not reading someones mind. The guilt is there nonetheless. Maybe there is a better word for what I am speaking of, but for now, I will use the word guilt, and hope you understand.



I was recently offered a gift. It was something I mentioned I needed, but was not asking for. It was going to cost the giver some time and effort. It was much appreciated, and when offered,.....I gladly accepted! Quickly I realised that the gift did not come without strings....strings of guilt. The gift now had parameters, nothing wrong with that, parameters are okay, but strings. I hate strings, and guilt, I HATE GUILT. When I say guilt, again, I don't mean guilt from doing something wrong, but illegitimate guilt. Guilt heaped on by someone else, or sometimes oneself that is not founded. When a gift is given with strings, and by that I mean expectations, it is not really a gift, at all, is it?



I then declined the gift, and now I feel guilty!

Just call me Girtie the Guilty Goat!

I once wanted to give a gift. I noticed a young women at the church we were attending a few years ago, had a very ratty purse. I new she didn't have the finances to purchase a new one. Her purse was torn, and bulging at the seams, it was too small, and the strap was broken. It was Christmas time and I really wanted to do it. I even went as far as searching for just the right one at the store. Then the guilty bug hit, and I began to second guess my idea. What if she felt guilty that she had not given me anything? What if she was embarrassed to carry a shiny new purse, and would feel guilty? What if she thought there were strings attached, like guilt? Or perhaps she liked the ratty pocket book and yet would carry my gifted one, out of guilt....

I never gave the gift, and now I feel guilty!

Girtie the guilty Goat again!

Girtie the Guilty Goat is a funny thing, isn't she?

sorry

Okay, I am showing my blogging ignorance, but how about you try this, I think it is worth the trouble...

http://thequeenb.typepad.com/the_queen_b/

read the entry, The Way They Were Sept. 30

A must read !

http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/2857842/33977289

What a wonderful reunion that must have been!

A snip of BADNESS??????

Kartwright said yesterday, that if I didn't update my blog, he is going to take it over and call it a snip of badness ha ha ha hahaha.......okay I will, for the greater good of the world, to prevent even a snip more of badness, I will post. HA!

I went to a home school meeting last night, and felt invisible, have you ever felt that way? But wait, I must not have been, because someone did say they liked my skirt!

Haven pulled another tooth out this morning. She seriously hates the feeling of a loose tooth, and pulls them out immediately. She only has one permanent tooth on top, and that is all you can see when she smiles! Pray for teeth....We still call her punkin head!

If your feet are always cold, like mine used to be, you need some of these......love them! I don't wear them out in public,(not that attractive) but I love them just the same!

Does anyone out there love Muscadines as much as I do???? No one else in my family likes them!!! The purple ones are the best....can't stay out of them!!!!

We had to close the windows this morning, a tad too nippy.....bummer, I love to hear the birds.

I have missed blogging....I will try to do better. Leave a comment, and make my day!

Just a snip of goodness