Happy 13th Birthday sweet Crockie, We miss you terribly, I miss you terribly. I feel selfish to want you back here in this painful world full of seizures, and crooked backs, and throw-up, and hurt, doctors, medicine, and therapy, but the good times, the funny times, the learning, and the smiles, and the way you talked even when you couldn't, those are the things I miss, and those are the things that made up for all the pain! I would give anything, to hold your soft, warm hand one more time, and to scratch your head and hear you laugh, to see you rock back and forth in your chair, and hear you squeal in delight at the sounds of your siblings, to feel you run your hands over my face and see that little grin poke through, to hear you kick the furniture so hard that we have to move you, to experience your sweet smiles in the morning, and your angry screams when you wanted out of your chair.
I am so very grateful Crockett, for all that pain you went through, for all that we learned because you did, and all that we gained because you lived. This world did not see your worth little boy, but we did, I did!
You taught us to love unconditionally, by example.
You taught us to have compassion, not pity.
You taught us to trust God, no matter how hard life got
You taught us how strong we could be, and how far we could stretch
You brought us to homeschooling, and a change of lifestyle.
You taught us what was truly important.
You taught us to love sacrificially.
You revealed to us how thoughtless and mean people can be with their words, and how to forgive.
You revealed just how much Grandpa and Grandma loved Mama, by how much they loved you.
You revealed how detrimental a fear of the future is.
You revealed how helpful and compassionate young boys can be.
You taught me to be grateful for the pain, as it is then that I grow.
You continue to teach me, even in your death.
And you taught it all without a word!
I don't know why it was you, that had to teach us all that, or why God chose us to teach it to, but I sure am glad He did. I am a better person because you lived my sweet Crockett, and I feel so honored that I was able to care for you for the 12 years, that you were on this earth.
You were sent here for the same reason we all are, and that was to glorify your heavenly Father, and I do believe that you did that well son. You did that very well! i love you Crockett my son, and I miss you. I believe you are free from all the pain now, and enjoying your mansion in the sky. We look forward to the day when we will see you again!
For all of this I am so grateful today.
Tell me, what are you grateful for?